Lucifer shifted from one foot to the other, from his toes to his heels, the sharp heels of his boots clicking against the floor. The meeting was running so long, it was getting really hard to stay still.

 

He jumped at the sound of Michael’s voice inside his head.

”Stop doing that.”

Lucifer stiffened, straightening himself out, feet properly on the ground this time.

”Sorry.”

Placing his focus back onto the angels that were speaking, he tried to pay attention. He felt so rigid, standing there for so long, not getting any sort of outlet for the tingling in his limbs. Glancing quickly at Michael, he found his eyes aimed right at the speakers, focus no longer on him.

 

Quietly, he started to play with his fingers, rolling them between his forefinger and thumb, pulling at his joints, flapping his hands to himself.

”Lucifer!”

”I wasn’t even making any noise this time!”

”It’s still annoying!”

”Fine! I’m sorry!”

 

Lucifer gritted his teeth. He stared intently at the angels in front of him, at the other end of the circle. As he listened to Uriel and Raguel, at their droning that seemed neverending, he started to zone out, no longer catching any of the words.

Hey, now that he was thinking about it, didn’t Uriel kind of look like a King Eider duck? How hadn’t he noticed that before?

Though he somehow managed to keep himself from giggling to himself, he couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his lips. He’d always thought Uriel’s beak was kind of cute, he was surprised it had taken him this long to place the shape of it.

 

A sharp pain ran through one of his wings as he felt one of his feathers being yanked out of its follicle.

“OW!”

He pulled his wing close, glaring up at Michael, who was looking even more annoyed than before.

“Stop rocking back and forth like that, you look like an idiot,” Michael hissed, leaning in close to him, beak almost touching his own. He could see the silent rage burning in his eyes, daring him to be a nuisance one more time and see what happened.

Lucifer’s face flushed golden, feeling all eyes on him. He hadn’t even noticed he was doing it.

 

His eyes darted between them, jaws and fingers clenching and unclenching as he tried to get his emotions under control. After a way too long, way too painful silence, he cast his eyes down.

“I’m sorry.”

He just wanted to cry in shame. But he wouldn’t. Not in front of them.

 

He wouldn’t let himself.

 

-

 

Lucifer’s eyes followed Charlie as she spoke animatedly about a new activity she wanted to add to the hotel’s schedule. She was shifting back and forth between her toes and her heels as she excitedly explained her plan.

His eyes locked on her hands as she listened to Vaggi’s response, at the way they moved.

It felt so painfully familiar.

 

“What’s up with you?”

He glanced up at Angel who sat beside him on the couch, not particularly interested in what Charlie had to say. If she went through with it he’d find out more about it sooner or later anyway, no matter how little he listened now.

“I…”

 

He didn’t know what to say. How to explain what he was feeling. The utter relief that she wasn’t scared to let her body move the way she wanted, needed it to. That there wasn’t a mental block that told her no, don’t do that, you’ll make a fool of yourself. The way there was one in his head even now, ten thousand years after all those insults he got for moving the way he did stopped.

“I’m just… happy for her.”

“Yeah, sure, I guess the hotel’s doin’ better than ever.”

Lucifer shook his head. That wasn’t it. Well, that too, but that wasn’t what had been on his mind as he spoke. He leaned against Angel’s side, feeling his arm slip around him.

Maybe he’d find the words later.

 

For now, he was fine just watching Charlie, the way she moved.

Relieved that she’d never been taught that it was something to apologise for.

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