As Lucifer stood in front of the mirror, he felt his excitement and anxiety battle for dominance, making him feel like a jumbled mess; he wanted to crawl underneath his bed and hide, yet he felt like he was walking on clouds.

Lilith was returning!

He had no idea what had made her change her mind after so many years, nor where she had been all this time, but what mattered was that she was coming back, to him and Charlie. Well, he certainly hoped she was coming back for him too, but if she only came for Charlie, that was fine too (no, it wasn’t fine, not even remotely. He was lying to himself, but he had done that a lot throughout his long life).

 

He had dressed up, worn one of the suits that he knew Lilith used to like. She’d loved how it accentuated his figure, had told him that it made him look as sweet as the day they first met. Brushing his fingers down the front of his vest, he smoothed imaginary wrinkles out of the fabric. He shifted from his toes to his heels, back and forth before stopping himself, his grip tightening around the brim of his hat. Finally, he sat it back down on the dresser, his snake sliding off it to rest around his arm. Not today. He knew that he would only want to hide behind the wide brim should he put it on.

Leaning forward, he stared into his bloodshot eyes. He looked tired, a testament to how little sleep he had gotten in the past week.

He felt the glamour slip across his face like second skin, making him look much more well-rested, covering the one he was already wearing. Glamours of this caliber could only be sensed by his fellow Sins (or the highest rank of angels, those ranking even above his own old status, but they had never stepped foot in Hell even once, as far as he was aware), and since he wasn’t expecting any of them right now, he knew that everyone else would be none the wiser. He would be safe from anyone noticing.

 

Stepping toward the door to his tower, his hand squeezed the handle.

Everything was going to be fine.

All-out war with Heaven had been avoided, and they were now preparing themselves for any future sinners that might arrive in their domain through the effort of the hotel. The hotel was thriving, new guests flowing in, actually interested in redemption this time.

With a deep, shaky breath, he pushed the handle down.

 

It was going to be okay.

 

 

The lobby was less crowded than it had been in the last few days, but the amount of people still made his pulse quicken. He forced himself not to show it, fighting his urge to fidget, making himself stand still. Beside him, Charlie couldn’t stop talking, holding on to Vaggi’s hand (he was so thankful for the tag with her name on it, how it helped him stop stumbling on remembering it as often). She, too, was nervous, and why wouldn’t she be? Lilith hadn’t gotten back to her in years either.

He knew that holding on to Vaggi’s hand was the only thing keeping her from pacing the room.

 

As the doors opened, he felt his breath get knocked right out of him. Next to him, he heard Charlie squeak.

Lilith stood before them, as beautiful as she had ever been.

 

Charlie let go of her girlfriend’s hand (fuck, he’d forgotten her name again, but he couldn’t see her nametag from where he was standing right now), throwing herself in Lilith’s arms.

“Mooom! I’ve missed you sohoho much!”

Tears were running down Charlie’s face as she clung to her, Lilith wrapping her arm around her. He watched as Lilith raised a hand to wipe away Charlie’s tears, thumb brushing across her cheek. “I missed you too, my little heart.”

As Charlie buried her face in Lilith’s chest, hugging her tight, Lilith’s eyes met his.

Lucifer raised a hand, smiling, but as he opened his mouth to speak, she averted her eyes.

 

He felt his breath hitch in his throat, not managing to choke back the strangled noise he made entirely. Next to him, he could see the bellhop appear out of the shadows from the corner of his eye. Not right now, please…

“Oh my, it seems like you’re about to find out if you’re still married or not quite soon, wouldn’t you say?”

God damn it. Lucifer felt the taste of his own blood on his tongue as he bit into it, willing himself not to cry. He laughed, putting on an air of confidence he didn’t really feel. “Oh Bambi, you really don’t know the first thing about marriages.”

“Neither do you, it would seem.”

Lucifer felt his smile twitch. He refused to turn his head to look at him, instead keeping his eyes trained on Charlie, who was still wrapped tightly around Lilith. “Don’t you have some bells to hop over, or whatever it is you do?”

“Oh, no. I’m observing the most delightful matiné at the moment.”

Oh how he wished he had been able to punch him.

 

 

After Charlie had shown Lilith around the hotel (Lucifer trailing behind them next to Vaggi, whose nametag he had luckily glimpsed again), Lucifer drew closer to her where she had sat down by the bar. He did his absolute best to pretend like the bartender wasn't there (he wished he had gotten a nametag too, but he hadn’t been quite so lucky) as he hopped onto the stool next to her.

“Heeey, Lily! I’m so glad you’re back! I…” He heard his voice crack, but forced himself to pretend like it hadn’t happened. “Missed you.”

 

Her eyes turned toward him. Her eyes, that had usually been full of warmth when she looked at him, made his heart sink to his stomach. He could feel himself start to sweat, as he felt his fears turn into reality.

She was looking at him as if he were nothing but a disappointment.

Like she had given up on him.

 

He wanted to throw up.

 

As she stood up, leaving without a word, he heard a glass slide across the bartop. Without as much as a glance, he picked it up, downing the liquid in one large gulp. He frowned, finally turning to look at the bartender. “Hey, this isn’t alcohol.”

“It’s water.” He watched the bartender clean the glass Lilith had left behind. “You’re just gonna feel worse if you drink, the way you are right now. I doubt you want to have a panic attack in front of everyone.”

“I’m not gonna have one, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Tell that to the tail wrapped around your legs and the horns on your head.”

Lucifer’s eyes snapped downwards, raising a hand to his forehead. He hadn’t even noticed them emerging, yet he found his tail wrapped tightly around himself, a self-soothing action he hated that he’d now revealed to someone without even realising, his horns fully bursted out of his forehead.

He let his demonic traits vanish, instantly feeling his anxiety levels rising. Fuck, he felt like crying.

 

Lucifer furrowed his brow, fiddling with his glass, watching the ice move around at the bottom. “I’m fine,” he repeated, more an attempt to convince himself than anyone else. He quickly downed the remaining contents, making the bartender cringe as he chewed on the ice. “What?”

“You don’t feel that in your teeth?”

“Not really,” Lucifer shrugged. Chewing on the ice made him feel a little better, actually. The cold was a bit of a shock to his system, pulling him away from his own emotions, if only for a moment. He lowered himself down to the floor. “I need to go.”

 

He paused, looking up at the bartender. “What… What was your name, again?”

“Husk.”

“Husk…” He rolled the name around in his head as he stared intently at him, making Husk’s brows knit together.

“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?”

“No, nothing.” He shook his head.

Would it be terribly amiss if he filed Husk’s name into his brain behind a label that read ‘siberian husky’? He was clearly a cat, not a dog. Maybe if he kept the reasoning to himself this time, no harm would come of it. What colour eyes did huskies have, again? He was pretty sure they weren’t yellow, but it had been such a long time since he had last been on earth. He just knew they were piercing, and he certainly felt like Husk’s eyes were looking right into his soul at this moment.

With Husk’s eyes still on him, he teleported himself back to his tower.

 

 

Locking himself in his tower proved to do nothing to help him. Not when every sound he heard from the corridor outside made him grow tense, worried that he would be asked to come back downstairs, or that someone would ask to come inside. He didn’t dare go back to the palace either, in case Lilith went there. It was her home just as much as his.

He didn’t think he’d be able to bear it if she looked at him with that amount of disappointment again.

So, where did that leave him?

 

It only left him with the option of going outside, something that he had come to dread after he realised that Pride had found out about his inability to hurt sinners. It was only a low murmur for now, one that he knew would spread the longer time went on, until everyone would know his weakness, and going outside would become a near impossibility. It was only by the grace of that TV-head guy’s choice of phrase that everyone hadn’t realised it right away.

He really should tell Charlie about that.

 

He managed to get to the hotel doors without anyone speaking to him, though he could feel the bartender’s (kitty, puppy, husky, no, Husk, wasn’t it?) eyes follow him as he walked through the lobby, trying not to flinch when a sinner almost bumped into him.

As he opened the door, he let another glamour layer on top of the ones he was already wearing, one invisible only to the people in the lobby. Now, no one would recognise him for who he was, looking like an average, unimportant sinner. The more he layered his glamorous, the more stifling they became, but it was better than the alternative that was jumping out of his skin at any little noise he heard, or any tiny movement in the corners of his eyes.

 

Walking down the street, he rested his hand on his chest.

His wounds weren’t healing the way he wanted them to, but he knew his lack of sleep certainly didn’t help. He needed rest just like humans did, if not for as many hours. But when he had barely slept more than minutes ever since he had been put in that painful cage, his body really couldn’t manage both keeping him awake for such a long amount of time and healing him at the same time.

He could feel the heat of his wounds seep through his shirt and vest. At least they had finally stopped bleeding.

 

Not paying as much attention to his steps as he should, he nearly bumped into a sinner, who bared their fangs at him and snapped at him to ‘fucking watch it, asshole’. Lucifer felt his pulse quicken as he took a step back, opening his mouth to say something, but they were already gone by then.

He backed up until he stood with his back against a wall, fingers seeking out the bricks behind him, trying to concentrate on their rough texture. Eyes unable to focus, he could hear the rain starting to fall, people quickly moving inside to avoid the acidic drops, but Lucifer found himself safe underneath the awning of the building.

God, he wished he didn’t have to be so afraid all the time. Briefly, he considered building himself a little cottage far away in a deep forest with his magic, locking himself away far from any prying eyes. Maybe if he did that, warded it with as many spells as he could possibly manage, he would feel a little less scared.

But then he would lock himself away from Charlie, and he didn’t want to do that again. He had already disappointed her enough as it was. He’d been an absentee father, had been nothing good to be around, even before he hid himself away like a hermit in his cave. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t do that to her, not again. Not when their relationship was already on such thin ice.

So he would swallow his fear, cover himself in glamorous, and put on his most convincing smile.

 

“Hey, ya look like ya could use a good time.”

 

Lucifer’s head snapped up at the familiar voice, eyes growing wide. For a long moment he could only stare, as his brain searched for his name. Like him, somehow… Seraph? No, that wasn’t right. Finally, he found it. “A-Angel!”

Angel’s smile turned sly, and he bent down to Lucifer’s level. Even though he was smiling, he could tell that he, too, was tired. “Oh, a fan, huh? Ever slept with a porn star before?”

Oh, right, his glamour. Angel had no idea who he was talking to. As Lucifer allowed it to shift, Angel’s eyes grew to mirror the size of his own. He watched a bright pink blush rise to his cheeks.

“Oh, fuck. I didn’t… uh.”

“It’s alright.” Lucifer smiled, eyes turning to the sky. He heard the raindrops sizzle quietly as they hit the ground. “You didn’t know.”

 

He heard Angel’s heels click against the ground, and when he looked to the side, he had leaned back against the wall next to him. He watched him pull out a cigarette, heard him curse quietly to himself as his lighter refused to light up. “Ya got one stupid job…” Angel muttered down at the tool in his hand.

Lucifer raised his arm, letting a tiny flame flicker to life in the palm of his hand.

For a moment, Angel’s eyes moved between his face and his hand, before he finally held his cigarette to the fire. “Thanks,” he said, quietly, Lucifer snuffing the flame out in his closed fist as Angel raised the cigarette to his lips.

“You’re lookin’ extra fancy today.”

 

Lucifer lowered his hand, fingers seeking out the wall behind him again, tracing the grout between the bricks. He put on a smile that he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold for very long. “Yes, well, big day today! Big… big day.” He felt his smile falter as he thought of Lilith, his grip tightening around the apple top of his cane, fingers digging into the wall. Next to him, he could feel Angel’s fluffy jacket brush his shoulder as he took another drag from his cigarette.

“Yet you’re lookin’ like no one showed up to your birthday party.”

“I don’t have a birthday.” Lucifer’s laugh was nothing but a short, joyless breath of air as he shook his head. “Lilith came back.”

“And you’re out here? Kinda figured you’d be glued to her side once she came back.”

Lucifer’s eyes wandered down to his wedding band. He tried to put on a smile again, but found himself unable to. He just felt like crying. “Things don’t… always go the way we want them to.”

He heard the quiet laugh next to him. Sad, bitter, frustrated. All emotions he was intimately familiar with. For a moment, Lucifer had to remind himself of his name again.

Angel flicked the remains of his cigarette onto the ground, out into the street. They watched the rain slowly eat away at it. “Don’t I know it.”

 

For a while, they just stood there, side by side, staring out into the rain. He felt Angel’s lower arm brush against his, making him realise just how close he was standing. They were only separated as far as the fur of Angel’s jacket reached.

He reached out, just a fraction, his knuckles brushing Angel’s fingers.

For a moment, he felt Angel pause, hesitating. Then, neither of them looking at the other, Angel’s hand slipped into his, hidden by the fur of his jacket.

 

His fingers were cold from standing out in the unusually chilly air, the rain cooling down the hot city. He knew that it was mirroring his mood, the clouds weeping the way he already was on the inside. He knew that he would break soon, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

He added another layer to his glamour, letting it envelop him and Angel both.

“If…” He hesitated. Didn’t know if he was overstepping, as he knew he was prone to doing. “If you want to cry, I can hide it for you. As long as we touch.”

“Are ya sayin’ that so ya won’t be the only one cryin’?”

“Maybe.”

 

He felt Angel’s fingers squeeze his hand, and then, he felt him slowly start to shake. He didn’t turn his head to look at him, allowing him what little privacy Lucifer was able to give, what amount of it Angel could afford. He didn’t know how much of it he was allowed, where he had been since he left the hotel. He didn’t remember the details of Angel’s situation, of what Charlie had told him about it when he wondered why Angel had disappeared, but he remembered enough. Enough to know that he hated the sinner who owned Angel’s soul, and the TV man alongside him.

He wished he could do anything about it, but he was as helpless to the power of soul contracts as everyone else.

 

Finally, the tears fell from his own face, bright like stars as they fell toward the pavement. They rolled down his cheeks, glistening in the pale light Heaven cast down on them, mixing with the red of the closest thing they had to a sun and moon. It bathed them in their light as they wept, silently, side by side. He felt his own shoulders shake, and he wished he could embrace Angel, hold him, seek comfort in someone who so clearly also needed it, give some comfort back to him.

But no matter how many glamorous he put on, they wouldn’t let him do that much. He could change their appearance, he could change their expressions and hide their tears, he could make it seem like their bodies weren’t shaking. But he couldn’t move them more than that.

It was more than his powers allowed.

He could make them fully invisible, but they would vanish into thin air, and any onlookers, be they through eyes or camera lenses, would run the risk of seeing them disappear right in front of them.

 

Lucifer’s fingers tightened their grip, his teeth biting his tongue. That familiar taste of blood filled his mouth, sickeningly sweet, even after all his years spent down in Hell, leaving an aftertaste of rot sticking to his tongue. He let his tears fall, until he couldn’t cry any longer. Until he felt them dry, leaving his skin feeling tight where they had fallen.

As he looked at his feet, he stared into his own reflection in his glowing puddle of tears. His tail flicked out, down into the puddle, letting his tears splash out and mix with the rain.

He heard Angel speak next to him. His voice was a little hoarse, barely more than a whisper.

“I didn’t know your tears could glow.”

“Most of my bodily fluids do.”

It sounded like Angel choked on something, making him look up. There were still remnants of tears in the corners of his eyes, but they had finally stopped falling.

“What?”

Angel shook his head. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

He felt Angel’s hand start to slip out of his. “Thanks,” he said, a small, brittle smile on his face. “I needed that.”

“Any time.”

 

As Angel’s fingers slipped away from his, he watched him put on a confident smile. “I gotta get back to work now, but I’ll see ya later.” Then, he seemed to realise what he had just said. “On second thought, we probably shouldn’t. I’m not exactly safe to be ‘round right now.”

“Maybe not.” Lucifer fiddled with his cane. He felt his wounds throb, reminding him of the reason why. “But if… you ever need another hand to hold, mine is always open.”

 

The expression in Angel’s eyes was torn, and for a moment he thought that he would start crying again. But then he turned away, looking into the sky as the rain finally started to clear. He watched him bite his lip, before he pushed himself off the wall.

“I’ll see you later.”

Angel turned toward him, his eyes sad even as he kept a wide smile plastered on his face.

“See ya later.”

 

As Lucifer watched Angel walk away, there was really nothing that betrayed his mood once he could no longer see his face. Yet he knew. He could tell that Angel was good at lying, both to himself and others.

But for a while, for a couple of minutes, he had allowed himself to drop his facade, safe in Lucifer’s glamour. Because there, no one could see, not even the cameras.

 

He didn’t know how to get him to come back to the hotel. Didn’t know how to ease his pain. But even if it had just been for a moment, Lucifer was glad that he could at least be a shoulder for him to cry on.

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