When Lucifer opened the door to Angel’s bedroom, he had to wave the smoke out of his face. As he walked over to the windows to open them so he could air out the room, he glanced at the bed. He paused, halfway through the room.

Ignoring the windows entirely, he redirected his steps toward the bed, sitting down on its edge.

“Angel?”

He pushed Angel’s hair out of his face, meeting his eyes. His eyelids were drooping, his pupils pinpricks in the center of his irises. Lucifer cupped his cheeks. He was hot to the touch, hotter than he should be.

Leaning down, he pressed his forehead to Angel’s. Did he have a fever?

 

As he did, he felt something tap against his thigh, and when he looked to the side, his eyes locked on a syringe.

Eyes widening, he sat up again, picking it up. It looked used.

His eyes turned back towards Angel, taking his hand, gripping it tightly. He held out the syringe in his other hand. “Angel, did you take this?”

Angel’s fingers squeezed his, his lips struggling to pull into a smile even though he looked like he wanted to cry more than anything else. “Mhm…”

“Did something happen?”

 

He watched Angel bite his lip, chewing on it until it started to bleed. He put the syringe on the nightstand, running his hand through the fur of Angel’s cheek, trying to soothe him. He waited for him to speak, giving him the time he needed. When he did, his words were slurred, even with a clear effort put into every word.

 

“I… changed my mind.”

“On what?”

“Redemption…”

Brows furrowing, Lucifer pulled Angel’s head onto his lap. Angel’s body was as warm as his face, his limbs too heavy to move them on his own. “Why would you do that? You’ve gotten so far, why would you change your mind on it now?”

Angel finally started crying, then, his eyes locked with Lucifer’s. Lucifer’s hands brushed his fur, gently wiping his tears with his fingertips. As Angel slowly turned, wrapping his arms around Lucifer’s waist, pressing his face into his stomach, he could tell that every little movement was difficult.

“I don’t-” Angel’s voice was muffled as he spoke, face buried in Lucifer’s sweater. It was shaking from the force of his tears. “I heard Charlie ask ya… about gettin’ ya redeemed…”

Heart clenching in his chest, a knot building in his throat, Lucifer started to realise what this was about.

“An’ ya said… ya can never set foot in Heaven again… Ever…”

 

Lucifer helped Angel to sit up, Angel so tightly wound around him that he was nearly crushed into his chest, Angel sitting between his thighs.

“Angel, you can’t… you can’t hurt yourself for my sake. To stay here.”

Angel’s voice was barely a whisper as he spoke.

“I just… I just found someone to love again, I don’t know if I can handle never bein’ able to see ya again.”

His words made Lucifer want to cry too, but he didn’t let himself. Not right now.

He ran his fingers through Angel’s hair. He didn’t have a solution for this, no way to make the problem go away. It was something he had tried not to think about, back when their relationship first started. Something that he had purposefully pushed to the side when he realised just how madly in love he had fallen, because the thought hurt too much.

But now, it seemed like he could no longer avoid it.

 

He pressed a kiss to Angel’s tearstained eyelid, to his wet cheeks, the taste of salt on his lips. He cupped his cheeks, gently guiding him to look at him.

“I know it hurts… but… would you rather have never found love again at all? If you were to do it all over again? Because I wouldn’t. I don’t regret falling in love with you, no matter the outcome.”

For a long moment, he watched Angel’s face contort as he processed what Lucifer had just said. Then, he buried his face in Lucifer’s shoulder, sobbing as he clung to the back of Lucifer’s shirt, Lucifer slowly rocking them back and forth, humming a melody he used to sing with the stars, many millennia ago.

As Angel cried in his arms, Lucifer buried his face in his hair. He couldn’t stop a few of his own tears from spilling, hidden in Angel’s thick hair, dampening it.

 

Eventually, Angel’s sobbing calmed, Lucifer hearing him sniffle into his shoulder. Angel raised his head, leaning into the touch as Lucifer wiped his tears away.

As he spoke, he could hear the shiver that still clung to his voice. “I… don’t regret fallin’ in love with ya either.”

“Then…” Lucifer pulled Angel down to brush his lips against Angel’s forehead, against his cheek. “Please… Don’t ruin your chances of redemption because of me. Even if you get redeemed I’ll always love you, I promise.”

He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Angel’s, meeting his eye with a sad smile. “Let’s make the most of the time we have together, instead, okay?”

Angel sniffled, blinking away the last of his tears. He took a deep breath, slow, but no longer shaking quite as much.

“...Okay.”

“Good.” Cupping Angel’s cheeks, he noticed that his temperature wasn’t quite as high as before, much to his relief. His pupils were still almost drowning in his irises, but it seemed like moving was becoming easier. “And if you feel like relapsing again, come talk to me. I don’t need to sleep, so no matter the hour, I won’t mind.”

Angel’s slow nod made his shoulders relax. He hated seeing Angel like this, and if there was anything he could do to make his thoughts easier to bear, anything at all, he would do it.

 

He lowered Angel onto the mattress, following close behind. Pulling Angel into his arms, he nestled Angel’s cheek against his chest. As he started to hum that same melody from before, he felt Angel finally start to relax against him.

Glancing down, he could see Angel’s eyes drooping, until they finally slipped closed.

With his hands combing through Angel’s hair, he continued to hum, the sound of the melody enveloping them both as Angel fell asleep in his arms.

Hopefully once he woke up, he wouldn’t feel too terrible.

But if he did, Lucifer would be there to take care of him.

For as long as he needed.

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