Chapter 14

Around 11 Misawa left to go to work, leaving Jun completely alone for the first time in days. Ever since Juudai stormed into his life he hadn’t really been well and truly alone, since working didn’t exactly count, what with annoying customers and his boss bothering him. And now, here he was, all on his own, aside from the company of his cat.

 

He attempted leaving the apartment for a while to check out the surrounding area, but the thought of the risk of running into anyone from Manjoume Group made him too anxious and he had to promptly rush to the bathroom. While purging the entirety of his breakfast, he felt like he was going to cry from the thought of running into either of his brothers or one of their subordinates that used to know him all on his own. He’d try that once he was in the safe company of his friends and the comfort their presence brought him. But now? It was all too much, he felt like never leaving the apartment again.

 

Was he going to become a shut-in now that he was in the capital? He lay staring at the ceiling, Cheeseburger alternating between cuddling up on his stomach, against his head and exploring the apartment. He couldn’t stop thinking about his violent reaction to leaving Misawa’s apartment. In no way had he expected his body to react like that, and it made him curl into a ball on the bathroom floor, filled with shame. His chest felt tight, he needed to call someone. But who? He already felt like he’d put too much of a burden on Juudai, he didn’t want to call him over just for something like this. He just wanted someone to talk to right now, or he was going to think himself into a panic attack.

 

Not really able to focus his sight on his phone, he scrolled through it to find his newly expanded contacts list and pressed a random number. With no energy to hold it, he turned on the speaker and put it down on the floor next to him, wrapping his arms around Cheeseburger when she curled up against him.

 

The sound of the signals were loud, but only two rang out before the call was picked up.

 

“Jun-kun?” For a few seconds, Jun couldn’t speak, nothing but a sob coming out. Clearly it was loud enough to be heard, because the next words spoken were “are you at Daichi’s place?” and he managed a broken ‘yeah’ before he was told they’d be right over and the call ended.

 

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What simultaneously felt like seconds and hours later in Jun’s current mental state, he heard knocking on the bathroom door. Cheeseburger was the only one to reply with a coo and purring right into Jun’s ear, and he heard the door open more than the crack it had ended up with when he’d rushed to the room to throw up everything in his stomach.

 

Gentle hands helped him up to a sitting position, and he was leaned heavily against a firm chest. Arms enveloped him in a hug that had been promised to him only days before, and again, tears started to fall down his face in hot trails. “T-Tenjouin-san… I’m, I’m sorry for calling…”

 

Fubuki shushed him, rocking slowly back and forth, one hand supporting his back and the other brushing through his hair. “Don’t be. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m so glad you called. I don’t mind being here at all. Don’t doubt that for a second, okay?”

 

The tears stung his eyes and sobs made Jun’s entire body shake with all of the emotions he was feeling. “I didn’t- I didn’t want you to see me like this the first time we- we met again.”

 

The shame burned inside him, and he pressed his face into Fubuki’s chest, wrapping his arms around the older man. It was a relief to have someone there with him, even though he felt humiliated by being seen covered in tears, snot and vomit. He was downright disgusting, but the hand in his hair and the other one wrapped around him was comforting and slowly he calmed down, sobs subsiding til he was quiet, shivering from the exertion of the purging of all his emotions.

 

Finally, he lifted his head to blow his nose when Fubuki handed him a tissue. “I feel disgusting…” The morning’s shower felt entirely wasted, now that he felt like tearing his skin off from how horrible he felt. His nails dug into his arms, would have undoubtedly torn his skin had Fubuki not guided them away from their frantic scratching.

 

He tried to help him stand, but he was so exhausted his legs were shivering. It took all Jun had just to climb into the bathtub, and that was without even getting all his clothes off. Fubuki gave him a grin that shone like the sun, making him want to cry again just from how much he’d missed seeing that smile.

 

“I’ll help you, don’t worry. I helped Ryo a lot after he had heart surgery a few years ago, I know how to be gentle.”

 

Hesitantly, Jun nodded.

 

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Fubuki was relieved when Jun agreed to let him help. He looked terrible, like death on legs, and he really didn’t want Jun to drown in the bath. Not on his watch. Well, not on anyone’s watch, but he would feel especially bad if he could have been around to stop it from happening.

 

With some struggle and cooperation, they managed to get Jun out of his clothes. Fubuki did his best not to stare at how horribly skinny Jun had gotten. He’d already been thin back in high school, but now… he was like a twig. He’d make sure that they all kept him well fed now that he was back in their lives.

 

He’d already seen the scars where he’d been shot on photographs that Juudai had sent Asuka, but seeing it in real life was like a punch to the gut. Just knowing that Jun’s older brothers had done that to him was unfathomable. As an older brother himself, it made him feel sick, and like he too was going to cry. Really, it was a wonder that he hadn’t burst into tears already, but he needed to pull himself together for the sake of his friend. He would cry later, after they got Jun nice and clean.

 

He started by popping the clothes into the laundry machine, sure that Misawa would understand why he’d messed up the math geek’s meticulous cleaning schedule once he was home. Then he started to run the water, deciding on using the showerhead rather than filling up the tub until Jun was at least somewhat clear of vomit. He was sure the raven wouldn’t appreciate bathing in filthy water. No one enjoyed that.

 

He aimed the water away from Jun, testing it every few seconds until it was a nice temperature. “Close your eyes and tilt your head forward.”

 

Following the instructions, Jun let the warm water run through his hair. It was cut a bit choppy but not too bad, Fubuki realising he must have gotten a lot of practice cutting it on his own these last years. He decided he’d take Jun out to the hairdresser as soon as Jun would say it was okay.

 

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The shower was relatively quick, efficient and to the point. It was how Ryo had preferred it, and he was sure Jun didn’t want it to last longer than it had to either.

 

By the time Jun’s hair was almost dry, both their stomachs were rumbling, and Fubuki brought them both to the kitchen, settling Jun down on a chair so he could rummage through the well organised fridge. He pulled out a box labelled “friday” before Jun reminded him that it was one of Misawa’s lunchboxes and Fubuki wasn’t allowed to touch it.

 

Fubuki threw him a sheepish grin and put it back, going through the freezer as well. “I’m not that great at cooking, but-- ooh, pizza! Would you like margherita or pineapple?”

 

“...Pineapple.”

 

“Me too! I’ll pop it in the oven and it’ll be done in like 15 minutes.”

 

While they waited, Fubuki dried off Jun’s hair further, until it was so fluffy it stood in all directions, making the brunette coo at how cute it was. Jun dared a tiny smile and rolled his eyes at the man.

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