Chapter 17

When Jun woke up it was like the world had been bathed in neon. The colours stung his eyes with their brightness and he had to shield them from their glow. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but he noticed Juudai still sleeping next to him. He too was brightly coloured, and when Jun reached out a hand toward the brunette whose hair was now a blinding orange that seemed to radiate its own colour, he noticed that only his own body lacked in colour.

 

In fact, he held no colour at all. His skin was completely white, his clothing different shades of gray. It was like all the colour had been drained out of him and disappeared into the world around him.

 

He sat up at the sound of a voice, only to be faced with nothing. “Who do you think you are, sharing a bed with Juudai all the time?” The voice was all around him, coming from all directions, coming from inside him . It made his body tense and he lowered his hand again. Suddenly the voice was right in his ears, echoing in his head; “What do you want from him?”

 

He froze, unable to move. It was like cold fingers had wrapped around his throat, not yet squeezing, but grip tight enough to signal a threat.

 

“I… I care about him.”

 

The voice hissed in his ear, grip on him tightening ever so slightly. “I remember you. You were terrible to him. Why would I believe that you’ve changed now?”

 

The voice remembered him? Was it someone who knew him? If the voice was going off how he behaved in high school, he was just as good as dead. He took in a shivering breath and closed his eyes. If he strained his ears he could hear a faint hum that he couldn’t identify the location of. It sounded like the voice of a woman, at the same time similar but completely different from the voice who had just spoken to him through his mind. But it was something…

 

“I was an asshole. I don’t know how to get you to believe me, but I’ve grown since then. I’m still an idiot, but I like him. And… I was too scared to admit to myself that I liked him even back then. But now, I… I think I might want to tell him.”

 

With a harsh shove he was pushed onto his back, and he was face to face with a woman, a card spirit. Memories tugged at the back of his mind, but it was like they were blocked from surfacing. The hand on his throat squeezed hard for a second before letting go. “If you hurt him, I’ll make sure you won’t be able to rest even in the afterlife.

 

And then she was gone, leaving Jun to stare with wide eyes into the bright pink ceiling.

 

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At some point the image of the neon coloured bedroom morphed into one where no colour existed. He was haunted by shadows and the voices of his brothers. What felt like years later, he couldn’t remember much of anything.

 

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When Jun woke up it was to a soft smile on Juudai’s lips, and a purring cat between their legs. The blanket must have been pushed down at their feet while they were sleeping, and Juudai had propped himself up on an arm. “Hey. I intercepted Cheeseburger just before five, she’s had breakfast already so don’t let her trick you.”

 

Jun smiled back, though his cheeks flushed when he realised Juudai must have watched him sleep. “You nerd, she’ll have you trained in no time.”

 

“I don’t mind, hanging around her means I get to spend time with you.” That only made Jun’s cheeks grow even hotter and judging by the look on Juudai’s face they were bright red.

 

“Dork.”

 

The brunette shifted closer, careful not to disturb Cheeseburger. “You know you love it.”

 

They stared into each other's eyes, silence enveloping them as the sun was rising. Warm colours slowly filled the room, lighting Juudai’s skin with a soft glow. For a moment Jun threw his hesitance away and leaned forward, pressing his lips against the other’s.

 

It was gentle and careful, Juudai’s lips soft against his own. Hands ran through his hair, making sure not to tug at any knots that might have come to during the night. Jun shifted closer, wrapping his arm over Juudai’s side and tugging him closer until they were chest to chest, nothing but Jun’s t-shirt inbetween.

 

The sun warmed their skin as Jun moved his legs to either side of Juudai’s body, deepening the kiss until it felt like they were melding together. Juudai’s arms wrapped around Jun, pressing their bodies as close as the world could allow.

 

They only parted once the need for air grew too big, and Jun looked down into the other’s deep brown eyes. Juudai’s lips were swollen and his cheeks tinted red, eyes half open as he looked up at him. Suddenly embarrassed, Jun flopped down on top of him, hiding his face in his neck.

 

“Holy shit…” he whispered, and Juudai laughed happily.

 

“You kissed me.” Jun’s nose rubbed against the brunette’s collarbone and he murmured a ‘shut up’, which only made Juudai laugh more. He was turned over so they were lying on their sides, facing each other again, and Juudai pressed a soft and quick kiss to Jun’s lips. “Just so you know, I’d let you kiss me any time you want.”

 

Jun narrowed his eyes, pretending like his face wasn’t on fire. “You’re so embarrassing, oh my god.” But he followed it up with another kiss, because damn it if he wasn’t going to take every opportunity to kiss him now, after he had waited for so many years.

 

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Breakfast was a relaxing affair. Misawa was already at the table when they arrived, Cheeseburger having ditched Jun’s bedroom and joined the former Ra Yellow student by means of sitting on the chair next to him, paw gently tapping his leg for attention once in a while. It made Jun smile to see her world grow and more people entering it.

 

Misawa himself smiled and gave the cat a knowing look when they entered, but didn’t say anything. They ate together mostly in silence, talking about unimportant things when it was broken. Soon enough Misawa had to leave for work, and he left the other two alone in the apartment.

 

When they started to get ready for the day and got back into the bedroom, Jun recalled his dream. He was sure he’d seen the card spirit before, and now that he was awake, he knew it had to have been more than a dream. Juudai was being protected by a card spirit much more aggressive than Winged Kuriboh, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember her name. It was nagging him at the back of his mind.

 

He didn’t get much time to think about it though, not when Juudai asked if he wanted to go to the gym before the meeting, try to distract himself from thinking too hard about it. Misawa’s building had its own gym, so he wouldn’t have to actually go into the city, which was… honestly both good and bad. He had to leave at some point, but he could wait with doing it for another few hours. Because even though he’d been told he didn’t have to go, he knew it was better to start now than to wait. Then he might really become unable to ever leave the apartment. So he’d just have to deal with it. God, he didn’t look forward to it.

 

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The gym was located on the top floor of the apartment building. Knowing that his objective was to go there rather than to head to the street made a world’s difference, compared to yesterday when he’d tried to go out into the city. He felt sick at first, but when they finally got into the gym his body started relaxing again. His brothers couldn’t get him here, nor would they employ anyone who lived in this area. At least it wasn’t likely, his brothers had always been snobs about that. He’d found it weird as a kid but had parroted it for a while anyways, hoping following their lead would make them like him, or at least tolerate him. Now he knew it was ridiculous, and they just disliked people who didn’t have as much money as they did. At the same time they really hated people who had more money than them, so it was a thin line to balance when he tried to keep up on who he had to hate.

 

This gym was spacious and clean, and there were notes on a cork board with a schedule where he could see all the people who used it helping out to keep it that way. Misawa’s apartment number was seen often on the board, which wasn’t strange considering he found it relaxing to clean. Jun couldn’t relate. 

 

Juudai was about to beeline straight for the treadmill when Jun grabbed him by the back of his tank top. “Hey, don’t skip out on stretching, dumbass.”

 

Juudai grinned and spun around to give him a peck on the lips. “Right! I always forget about that.” The grin on his face grew even bigger when he saw the flush on Jun’s face.

 

Jun jabbed him in the side with his elbow, trying to hide the dumb smile on his face. “Well, try to remember it next time.”

 

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They worked out until Jun was tired all the way to the bone. They hadn’t really spoken, and Jun had let his mind go blissfully numb. They stretched, showered and cooled down, and by the time they were redressed and had caught their breaths, there were only two hours left.

 

“Hey, if you want to, wanna go out for lunch? We’ll go somewhere low key, sit away from the windows.”

 

Anxiety churned inside his stomach, but he nodded after a few seconds of contemplation. “I think that’s best. The earlier I get out of here the better.” Misawa’s apartment had everything he needed, he could avoid going outside for weeks if he let someone else shop for groceries. And he knew that if he let that happen his psyche would just get worse and worse.

 

“I know a perfect place. It’s really small, got really good food, there’s no chance anyone who works for your brothers would be there.” He took Jun by the hand. A satisfied smile made its way onto Juudai’s face as Jun adjusted the grip to lace their fingers together.

 

“Shut up, let’s just go.”

 

“I didn’t say anything.”

 

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Leaving the apartment had made Jun feel sick. His grip on Juudai’s hand had been crushing, and he’d have apologised had he been able to speak. Once they were down on the bottom floor he had to gather himself, crouching down into a ball while still having his hand in Juudai’s. Thankfully he didn’t throw up this time when they walked out into the spring air. Outside the front door he had to take another few steadying breaths, and then he turned to ask Juudai to lead the way. Juudai in turn told him to let him know if it ever got too much.

 

The walk took around five minutes and he spent all of them with a tense body and his mind on high alert. Finally, Juudai led him into a small and cosy restaurant, and the atmosphere helped him slowly relax again. They ate and conversed about unimportant things, keeping the mood light. It was relaxing, and when they walked out of there hand in hand, the anxiety was still there, but not quite as bone deep.

 

There was only 40 minutes until the meeting with Asuka and the lawyer left now, and Juudai asked if he wanted him to join it. Jun shook his head, but asked if he could walk him there. He didn’t think he could handle going there on his own. He might be feeling better, but going over to where Asuka and Ryo’s offices where, where the meeting would be held, was nerve wracking.

 

“Of course. I’ll show you the way.”

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